I've seen it happen before....guys spending a lifetime trying to solve the great mystery from within the confines of their bedroom, just them and all their books. I'll tell you now, it's not in the books.....it's in the squeeze of your girls breast, the taste of your favourite food, it's in real physical pain, hurt and sweat. You scribble notes on the pages as the realisations and epiphanies arise and at times write lengthy passages describing how the various theories interlink. It's all a fukn waste of time.
Pull back.
Seriously,...... you must stop.
Get out, meet real people, have a relationship, do some stuff that you would see as being really prosaic, but do them anyway. Go and pull a few weeds, walk along the beach, get in touch with the earth; pull back from the ether.
You don't want to reach that point where you realise you've completely wasted yuor time looking for the answers that don't exist. The answers are certainly not in the market.